After SUCH a day, I think I want to clear my mind and pen down some thoughts.
Moving on is something I have been struggling with for a long time. I went through it with extremes from one end to the other but the most progress was made probably 6 months ago. I decided to search and try different positive ways to help me get through negative emotions. From just starting journals to exercising, I was a better person in 2018. However, It is hard to deal with the mistakes I have made that hurt others, therefore I choose to let go. I made it sure to myself it is for my own good as I want to be a happier person.
Today I had an intense conversation that leads to closure for someone who use to matter in my life. Other than giving her closure, it allowed both of us to say things out which we kept to ourselves for a long time. Other than all the apologies and thanks, she managed to get the words she needed from me to move on. Though people still warned me about her, I decided to keep my thoughts neutral, taking her words with a pinch of salt and a little benefit of the doubt. I choose to see her as not my concern over building a barrier over her, as I felt it would have been a better mindset to keep it neutral rather than leaving it negative. This was one thing i felt good about myself for today.
As for another issue that was upsetting, I believed that it was still the right thing to leave it alone. There are many ways to deal with friends. Knowing what she decided to do or did, I was more disappointed over angry with the way she left it to be knowing how we close we used to be. However, through the incident, I can see where her priorities are which gives the affirmation and relief regarding her situations.
Whether this is the final closure or not, I do not wish to interfere with this any longer and seriously hope this is the last time I have thoughts like this in my head.