Tuesday, 7 November 2017

10 THANKFUL//CLOSURE


Firstly I want to say happy birthday to my best friends. You made a amazing leap forward in your life and I hope you will carry on finding out your life to where you want to be in your life.

Secondly, I had such a wonderful time with this lovely lady yesterday with our swimming+dinner date. The swimming session was wonderful as I surprised myself with more laps than I ever did before.

People like this make you remember that even though there are ups and downs in life and people drift away once in awhile, the people who matters always choose to stay by your side.


Lately I have started to do some research on mental health and I really enjoy the whole process of it! Other than doing some mood tracking, I have also begin a journal. which I really enjoy. I realised how it helps when I'm having a bad day or just in general feel negative.

The reason why I started is to give myself a closure to all the unwanted thoughts and negative feelings I have. For so long I have difficulties trying to handle it, from drinking to just keeping it to myself and even thinking happy thoughts. Despite all that, I'm glad to have arrived at where I am now.

Of course, my appreciation goes out to the people who stayed and encouraged me all these while. Thank you all.

Tuesday, 24 October 2017

09 INKTOBER DUMP//


( my inktober 08 )
INKTOBER STARTED!

Some of my inktober goals are to be more fluent and confident in my lines and use this time to have more practice. This year, the tools I'm using are PlaycolorK by Tombow and blue pencil.

Sadly, I'm not keeping up with it very well. I am currently a week late so late that I have no idea if I'm still doing this and I haven't got out of drawing characters yet. Anyway so this is what I have so far!



Monday, 18 September 2017

08 UPS&DOWNS//THANKFUL


To get the negativity out of the way, I'm going to start with this.

Dealing with people has always been a problem for me. People come and go and I know I always have an issue with it. Dealing with it is definitely difficult but thinking that its better not to have people who treat you half-ass and be thankful for those who have been there and cared for you.

NOW the happy stuff :B

Lately, I have been focusing on health. I have been eating cleaner and running much more than I have ever done in the last 5 years or more. Drinking wise didn't go as plan but I have lots of progression which I'm happy about. It felt good to know I still have a certain level of discipline.

I had difficulty doing what I want to do and what I need to do for awhile due to the different places I stay at. Though there are limitations but I have been making plans and doing my best to make it work lately. For awhile all I have been doing is complain therefore I started making my plans according to what has happened. Not all of my plans will follow through but I evaluate and do my best to improve.

I had a rare chit chat with my mom at night and little gestures like this makes me realise how thankful I am for her. Even though she nags and has her flaws, her heart has always have the best interest for me no matter what.

Also, one of my dearest friend came back into my life and graduated lately and I'm so happy for her. She is probably one of the most positive influence I have in my life and i'm so glad she stuck around despite having our different lives.

One of the things that got me so pumped this week was, I DYED MY HAIR BLUE. It has been a dream of mine to get blue hair and to be honest, this wasn't my first time. However, this was the best results that I have had so I'm so thankful for my baby for helping me with this and loving me for who I'm.

Having ups and downs for an entire week made me realise how grateful and thankful I'm for everyone there and supporting me. It also made me realise how proud I'm of how far I have made it and continues to motivate and improve myself.

Wednesday, 30 August 2017

07 MINI ME//


Recently, I have been watching youtubers who does animations, therefore I randomly created a mini me! I would love to do animations on youtube but I might have other plans on mind.

Also, I created a mini boyfriend too :3

My productivity level went down in the past 2 weeks. I stopped keeping track of my money, my work, and I left my work untouched. All I'm concentrating on doing now is getting myself out of the house to work, NOT EVEN ON TIME FOR WORK. Just, out of the house so I'm actually going to work.

Well, I'm not going to discredit myself. Even though I haven't been exercising much but I did push myself to do a little here and there in the past 2 weeks. I'm so out of shape that I don't look good in my clothes anymore. THEREFORE,

MOTIVATION; GET BACK TO HAVING A NICE AND HEALTHY BODY.

I used to have a better body but It wasn't healthy at all. Being in an environment where I tried so hard to be prefect & skinny is something I do not want to go through again. Though I dislike my body now, but It does not make me want to starve myself or anything, but instead, its a good motivation for me to start being healthier.

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

06 NO MORE EXCUSES//


1. Loot from illustration fest
2. this week's lazy journal layout
3. wedding card//working on it

I haven't completely removed the negativity and I was disappointed with myself for being so unproductive last week which I basically just absorb a few seasons of The Simpsons. However, I wasn't totally unproductive as I managed to packed up my room and made some changes. Every time my room is all packed up, I feel amazing after that.

Also, I have been running! Usually when I plan to start running, somehow I end up hating it after 2 runs. Recently I have had a few runs and I feel like doing more every day! Other than building my stamina for the end of the year trip ( *_________* ), it helps me stop procrastinating a little more each time I go for a run.

I am actually extremely proud of TODAY! I would prefer to run when there is sunlight as the route I usually have the runs are dark and quiet at night. BUT today I actually got home after 8pm. Even after I sat down in front of my computer playing tetris and started my youtube videos, I got my ass off and was like NO EXCUSES. In my head I was like, "I'm tired, it's dark out, the bus took so long to bring me home BUT GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND RUN."

so I did. & I feel so much better.

Tuesday, 1 August 2017

05 NEGATIVITY//GOAWAAAY!!!

so I went to the museum for my sister's birthday! 


The last exhibition we went was a Dreamworks exhibition 2 years ago. It was like I was in disneyland but this time round not so much. I still enjoyed it though, partially the emotion I got from the artwork is caused by my personal negativity.

A couple of things happened lately and its been putting me down. All I'm trying to do right now is move forward but its just so bloody hard cause its so bloody personal and I hate that I put in so much effort in things like this when no one else gives a shit. somehow I keep making myself move forward, do work, watch Casey Neistat and just GO GO GO GO.

Even though nothing's really happening much but everything made me think a lot. Initially I didn't want to care cause it doesn't seems like anyone else is. but I realise how I'm still human but then I ended up concluding that I can care, just don't stop doing, don't stop moving forward and just slowly let the anger and negative emotions go.

It was because of all these minor incidents, it piled and rolled into a ball which made me reaaally negative and it affected other things like confidence and motivation. However, I have to keep reminding myself, I took so long to get back on my feet and had this motivation to keep going and keep doing and I'm not going to let things like this, things that people don't give a damn about, to put me down.

It is easier said than done but I'm working on it. I need to remind myself how strong I'm and thankful for everyone that actually care about my pitiful life.

I dont want to end off being all emotional and shit so

To be honest, I WAS verrry happy with it cause I see progression in my digital art style, but after I looking at it for so long, I feel I can still improved and I'm still finding out. I would love to post some inspirations but I'm not at home & I need to link and stuff sooo ahhh. Bye.

Sunday, 16 July 2017

04 PLEASE LET ME SLEEP//

This week is just chaos I haven't slept well in 4 days. Contemplating to go work or not (what a great employee I am), I'm going to put some photos in.

I started watercolour for this project I'm currently doing for my cousin's wedding.

and then there was this 
I'm working on it